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How did you survive your most brutal heartbreak?

By On Friday, June 10th, 2016 Categories : Question & Answer

How did you survive your most brutal heartbreak?. Are You sir and mam has that kind of concern?, If do then please read the best feedback below:

Gauri Saju


Forced break up due to parental pressure, it was. We were still so much in love with each other. My parents were crying and so was my boyfriend who loved me deeply. I couldn’t betray my parents, I wanted to stay with them. I couldn’t forget my boyfriend, we were inseparably entangled with each other.

My boyfriend didn’t mind waiting for me. I decided to stay with my family as long as they let me be single.

I chose not to marry my boyfriend because my parents didn’t approve of us being together, even when I was craving to see him and hug him. My parents wanted me not to call him or keep in touch with him because they thought that I’ll eventually forget him. I chose to do the same because I wanted them to realize that we could be away from each other and still not lose a bit of what we are to each other.

One month passed and an alliance was fixed in a haste. Not in a haste, to be exact, things escalated quickly; no-one had the intention to fix my wedding in a month. My parents were in happy tears that the guy was a perfect match for me according to some astrologer who knows nothing about my character or interest.

This was totally unexpected and I felt trapped. I saw my parents smiling after a long time since they came to know about my affair. I wanted them to keep smiling, but I couldn’t marry this guy for that. It was too much a price I had to pay for their happiness. I didn’t have a mobile phone, my parents had taken it away from me to avoid any contact between us.

I called him from a friend’s mobile and told him everything. We heard each other’s voice and we were happy but sad. I told him what I was through. He wasn’t ready to put me through anymore pain. He called for a break-up. He chose to break his heart to save mine.

Survival part of the heartbreak:

My case:

  • It hurt inside out. I was breaking from the inside.
  • I had to smile despite my pain because my parents didn’t want another soul to know about my past relationship.
  • I had to join them for shopping among other things
  • I cried to sleep and woke up with a smile on my swollen face with puffy eyes
  • No one talked to me about him, everything was about the new guy
  • My bf’s words kept echoing inside me- I’ll be your best friend until your wedding, talk to me because I know you want someone to talk to and cry to. I never called him, though.
  • I was overthinking a lot and I spent all my time thinking of different ways to escape from the wedding in the offing.
  • No-one bothered about me. They were all busy about the preparations.

His case:

  • He cried incessantly
  • He never called me, but if I called him, he did everything to cheer me up.
  • He went to the temple after work and prayed with tears, people looked at him sympathetically
  • He rode his bike with no intention to live. He just couldn’t survive this.
  • He deleted my pictures and saved them in the recycle bin. A part of him still believed in us.
  • He told me to not tell the guy about us as it may cost my marriage. He gave me other tips for a happy marriage after which he would cry like a maniac.


I thought-

  • I cared for their happiness and was ready for anything for it. Why don’t they think the same?
  • They think this guy is the perfect match for me. But are they sure?
  • They didn’t even ask my bf’s name. Why don’t they even consider him?
  • Why do I walk into another person’s life who isn’t guilty of anything?

After a lot of thinking, I decided to marry my bf and I did. The brutal heartbreak we had was enough to let us know that nobody else would be as perfect as we are for each other.

After about 9.5 months of marriage, we are still in love and we miss each other even when at work. We are grateful that we are together finally.

Edit 1:

Thank you fellow Quorans for all the messages, comments and upvotes.

So many questions have been asked about how I convinced my parents and if they are in touch with me now.

Here are a few related answers that might address your questions.

Gauri Saju's answer to What was the most painful / hurtful thing an immediate family member has ever done to you? And if one has, has he/she done this thing more than once? Read this to know how things are, right now.

Gauri Saju's answer to What is your happy love story? Read this to know how the wedding happened and the aftermath of it.

To the people who are like me and think it is unfair that you have to go to those links to know the full story, here goes:

My parents never agreed to the wedding. As I have mentioned, they were against us even before a wedding was fixed. So its quite apparent that once another wedding is in the offing, they don’t even wanna talk about the past lest talk and decide to get us married. They think it is better off without talking about it.

I eloped with my boyfriend and got wedded to him. After that I came back home. Things were difficult and I stayed home despite all the turmoil. After a month, there was a reception and all our relatives and friends attended the function. As you can imagine, even after that they are not over it and my dad talks to me if need be, and mom-sometimes she talks to me, sometimes she doesn’t. It all depends on her brother who thinks my mom should not be in touch with me anymore. He decides things on my mom’s behalf. To know more about this part of the story, you may wanna read the second link given above.

Many of you have asked me as to how to deal with everything as you are in a similar situation. I would never suggest you to do what I did. My case is very different as my parents never made a decision without asking my mom’s bro-my uncle. He is an adamant person and is dead against love marriages. Had he known how serious I was, he would have locked me up and let me out only on the wedding day. I didn’t wanna give him a chance to torture me or force me into anything I didn’t want.

For many of you, only your parents have to be convinced. So talk to them, make them understand things. Love marriage with parent’s consent is like chocolate with caramel and nuts in it! It is worth every bite(pun intended). Stand up for your love-even when I have gone through a lot to be with him, everyday I wake up next to happiness, everyday I see happiness, I sleep next to happiness. Marrying someone else-everyday with fear and guilt-everyday in memories-Is it necessary that you forgo your happiness? After all, your happiness is all your parents want, if they are wrong about what your happiness is, just tell them that your concept of happiness is a bit different.

For those who asked me solutions for the similar situation you are in, I’m sorry I have none. I can connect to your feelings and tell you what I did, but I do not know what would convince your parents. Only you know how long you can hold on. This is my story and I do not recommend that you do the same. Think for yourself and choose right.

All I can say is-what they say about love is right. I am happy that I chose him and I’m sure you deserve happiness too.

I wish that you be smiling at the end of the storm.

Edit 2: About the other guy-my wedding was fixed, but only close relatives knew about it. It was a matter of a month. We didn’t even get to know each other. He is gonna get married in a week to a friend of mine, as a matter of coincidence.

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